Poke the Bear
by smurf5
Summary: Boylan partakes in his favorite pastime involving everyone's favorite colony commander.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Yeah yeah yeah, not mine! Just borrowing it, not for profit, unfortunately.**

**A/N: I've been out for a while. Too long to explain, just know this, I've missed my FF readers, writers, and reviewers. When I had this little idea I figured I'd slap it down in print and see what happened. *smooches*.**

Boylan:

From where he stood, Boylan had a clear view of the entrance of the Command Center. Standing with one hand raised to block the mid-day sun, he leaned against a support beam from which one of the large market canopies was suspended. Watching as the steady stream of colonists had begun to dissipate after filing in and out of the Command Center, he couldn't help but smile to himself. Today was the perfect day for his favorite pastime. The sun was shining and the weather was pleasantly mild, he basked in the glow of the ideal climate. The day was completely adverse to yesterday's tempest. A violent windstorm had whipped through the colony, bringing monstrous hail and a deluge of rain. For the most part the colony fared well, mostly unharmed except for one portion of the southern quadrant. A power unit was taken out by the pounding hail. Typically the housing of the unit would have protected the sensitive internal components, but a foolish engineer had left a panel open as he fled the hail stones.

Colonists without power had plead their cases one by one nearly the entire day. The Commander's patience was being tested, this clever bartender intended to test it further. He was almost giddy with the prospect of spotting a flustered commander. A hand clasped his shoulder caused him to jump and let out an undignified yelp. Clasping at the beam at which he perched himself, he turned to find the friendly face of Jim Shannon.

"Boylan, any specific reason you're spying on the Command Center?" From the younger man's jovial tone he could tell that the Sheriff asked out of curiosity rather than interrogation.

"My good Sheriff, I'm simply 'observing' not spying." The barkeep attempted to offer his famous grin.

Shannon was clearly in a light mood and merely shook his head and said "semantics!"

"OH OH!" Boylan could not help but point excitedly as Taylor exited the Command Center and took up his usual perch at the railing. "This is why I'm 'observing' the command center."

Taylor leaned forward grasping the rail, 'towering over HIS kingdom' as the bartender enjoyed referring to it.

Gripping the rail as is his habit he was greeted with a rather unpleasant sticky yet viscous substance. With a look of pure disgust Taylor observed the goo covering his hands. Although Boylan could not hear, he could see the string of expletives escaping the Commander's lips as he stormed back into the Command Center.

Doubled over laughing, he wiped tears from his face. The look of shock he spotted on Shannon's face only increased his glee.

"Excuse me" Shannon cleared his throat. "Did you just pull a juvenile prank on the Commander of the colony?"

Throwing an arm on the Sheriff's shoulder he took a conspiratorial tone. "Not just ONE juvenile prank Jimbo! This is one of my favorite pastimes. I call it 'Poke the Bear'. A series of small insignificant pranks to see how many it takes for the Commander to completely lose his well-practiced cool." He threw an arm around Shannon's shoulders and guided him towards the best/only bar in town. "Let my buy you a drink and tell you a little tale." Shannon was obviously interested as he willingly accompanied the bartender to learn the history of the 'Poke the Bear' and what else Taylor had in store.

**A/N: I know it was short, but I wanted to gauge reaction before I continued. I have a few delightful pranks planned for Taylor, I am always open to suggestions!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry folks, its October and baseball is taking over my life. I've finally made some time to sit down and write another chapter, had to get it published before Game 3 starts. Also, I send my love to those of you that have reviewed; it really makes me feel good to know that people are reading my ramblings. **

Shannon:

He couldn't help but smile into his drink as the bartender expounded on years of exploits. At first he had been dubious about this game "Poke the Bear", but after nearly half an hour, he realized that Boylan's pranks were nothing criminal. Currently, Boylan was telling a tale about when he ran around the colony steps ahead of Taylor, anticipating every move, in order to assure that the Commander could not get a hot cup of coffee. The result, a woefully decaffeinated and very irritable colony leader.

"Oh, it was priceless Shannon! Despite my best efforts Taylor managed to talk Washington out of her cup of coffee, and then Malcolm comes careening through a doorway and straight into Taylor. " Boylan made a splashing noise. "He never even got a sip." Boylan was once again overtaken with a bout of laughter. "Now, I know it had to burn, but Taylor just stood there silently as Malcolm apologized profusely. Then bam, he grabs Malcolm by the lapels and pulls him in close and gave him what I assume none too veiled threat. I've been on the receiving side of plenty of those, it's not pleasant. I don't know what Taylor said to Dr Wallace, but he ran off like frightened rabbit." Boylan leaned in conspiratorially, "and Malcolm will deny it to this day, but I swear there were tears streaming down his face as he ran."

Shannon sat for a moment secretly enjoying the image of Malcolm running with his tail between his legs. He eyed Boylan who was still laughing to himself at the memories of past 'Poke the Bear' exploits. "So why exactly do you do this? You don't get along with Taylor, I get that, but you're not just doing this for your own entertainment are you?"

Boylan rested both palms on the bar and regarded Shannon. "You're right. Shannon, you don't know Taylor like I do. I've known him for a very long time; I've seen him change a lot over the years. I'm trying to see if the short tempered S.O.B. I used to know is still in there." Boylan seemed to be lost for words as he poured himself another finger of bourbon. "I feel like he's putting on a show for the colonists. I want them to see him get pissed off; know that he's not perfect; he has flaws just like the rest of us. I happen to know what that flaw is."

This piqued Shannon's curiosity. The Taylor he knew had what seemed like endless patience, especially with the colonists. He had rarely seen the commander lose his temper, and when he did, it seemed well founded. "So what do you have planned next?"

Boylan smiled broadly. "The wheels are already in motion my good man!" Boylan rounded the bar and took a seat next to Shannon. "When the commander arrives home tonight he will find a package waiting for him."

"Oh god" Shannon started to interject.

An uproarious laugh escaped Boylan's lips. "Relax Sheriff, it won't explode or anything like that. It's a rather nice gift actually."

Shannon raised an eyebrow questioningly at the bartender. "You don't think the commander will find strange anonymous gifts at his doorstep suspicious?"

"No, he'll assume it's from his lady friend, and graciously accept it."

"Lady friend? What the hell are you talking about? Who the hell are you talking about?" Shannon was honestly befuddled. The Sheriff began to wonder if the rumors were true.

"You damn well know who." Boylan gave him an exasperated look. "The rather beautiful and untouchable Lt Washington. They've hidden it well, but I know for a fact that they've been together since before they both came to Terra Nova. I keep it to myself because I rather like the way my face looks"

Shannon absorbed this bit of information, and wracked his brain for moments when they seemed more than a Commander and his Lieutenant.

"Does everyone but me know this?" Shannon failed at hiding his embarrassment at missing this juicing bit of information.

Boylan downed his drink. "Nah, most people have an inkling that there is something between them, but as far as the colony is concerned they are both single. I've got customers to serve and you have a wife to get home to." With that Boylan headed off to tend to the paying patrons.

Shannon headed back through the colony as the sun was setting, he kept his head down. The sun was positioned in such a way that it was nearly blinding as it sank away. He unexpectedly found himself face to face with Nathaniel Taylor. A wave of guilt washed over the Sheriff as he offered a greeting to his boss. "Good evening Commander!" Shannon toyed with the idea of letting the Commander in on Boylan's shenanigans, but didn't know how to even begin_. 'Taylor, you may want to be careful of…. What am I going to say, be careful of a box. I don't even know what's in the box, but it might be, well not harmful, but unpleasant, some way somehow.'_ Whatever he said would make him seem crazy, besides, he secretly wanted to see how the pranks played out. "You look exhausted."

Taylor offered a weak smile and scrubbed a hand over his face. "It's been a long day Shannon. I'm looking forward to a stiff drink and a soft bed."

Shannon mused to himself _'and most likely a certain soft woman as well.'_ "I won't keep you then, good night Taylor."

"Good night Shannon." Taylor slapped Jim on the shoulder before continuing on way to his housing unit.

Rubbing his shoulder, Shannon had a terrifying thought. _'If a slap on the shoulder out of camaraderie hurt this much, what would it feel like if Taylor gave me a Grade A ass kicking when he found out that his trusted Sheriff knows about Boylan's little game.'_

It was a ghastly early hour; Shannon stifled a yawn as he galloped up the steps of the Command Center. "Good morning Reilly." He was about to side step the Corporal to enter the Command Center when she stopped him.

"Sheriff, the Commander is not in yet." Reilly simply stated.

Shannon's blood ran cold. He knew that something was terribly wrong if Nathaniel Taylor was late for a meeting. _'Oh no, Boylan, what have you done?!'_

Reilly pointed out towards the market, "There he is, Sir. Over there by the frut stand. Oh my goodness…" her voice trailed off.

Following the line of her pointing hand he saw a shocking sight. A completely clean shaven Commander Nathaniel Taylor, his impeccably groomed beard was missing. Shannon watched as a seriously agitated Taylor made his way through the light early morning crowd at the market. Almost every eye in the market was trained on their Commander as he made his way to the Command Center. A number of the women's gazes seemed to linger longer than others.

"Shannon, I apologize for being late." Taylor offered a nod to Reilly as he entered the Command Center and Shannon was not far behind sharing a smirk with the Corporal.

"That's a new look for you, Taylor." Shannon bit his lip attempting to hide the fit of laughter that threatened to erupt from him.

"Wipe that shit eating grin off your face before I do it for you, Shannon." Taylor was not in a jovial mood.

"Seriously, what happened?" Shannon was intimidated enough to squelch any laughter that remained.

Taylor absently rubbed at his bare chin. "I got a new beard trimmer, that was… faulty. I haven't had a clean shave since Somalia."

"You're quite the talk of the market, sir." Shannon's head swiveled around to spot Wash leaning in the doorway. "All the ladies are telling me I have to see how baby faced our Commander looks."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry, I'm hoping to update more frequently soon. Lots of travel lately, and not fun travel, work travel BOOOOO! I took the whole month of December off, so be prepared for more BAMF coming out of this Smurf.**

Wash:

Lieutenant Washington could not draw her eyes away from her lover's face as smoothed a hand over his now hairless chin. She called up on all of her will power to fight the urge to climb into his lap and feel the silky smooth skin that was typically hidden. Fearing that she would get too hot and bothered in Shannon's presence she attempted to focus on the mundane details the Sheriff expounded on during his weekly meeting with Taylor.

"With the power outage there has been an influx of customers at Boylan's and a not so unrelated influx of alcohol fueled fights. Nothing I can't handle though. A couple of teenagers were caught pulling the power unit out of Malcolm Wallace's rover."

At this bit of information, Taylor raised his eyebrow. Wash jumped to the same conclusion as Taylor, she knew. "Why, to sell them to the Sixers? We know they are running low on power." Wash continued "who are they? Are they in the brig?" She stood as if to make her way to the brig.

She stopped short when she saw a broad smile on Shannon's face. "Nothing so nefarious, Lieutenant. Have a seat, you'll enjoy this, I know I did. Apparently, the two teens in question, Chelsea Burton and Henry May, are Malcolm's interns. Disgruntled interns, as it turns out, just looking to give our favorite scientist a little exercise for the day." He laughed to himself a little. "I let them off with a stern warning." He scrolled through his plex, "that's about it."

'_OK, you're done, go on, sheriff the colony. I need to be molesting the commander if you don't mind. Leave now.'_ Wash tried her best attempt at telepathy. Taylor stood and walked with Shannon to the door.

"Shannon, keep an eye on the situation at Boylan's. With the heat and the housing situation I don't want any altercations escalating." After a nod in agreement, Shannon exited and Taylor closed the door. Turning back towards Wash, he leaned against the door and regarded her for a moment. "Your gift was defective and now my face is cold, I hope you're happy."

Slightly confused Wash sauntered up to her commanding officer. "First, be a man and suck it up. Second, I have no idea what gift you are talking about." She fell into his arms, and she observed the quizzical look gracing his features. "What gift?" Reaching up she ran her fingers along his square chin.

"Don't play coy woman, the beard trimmer." She shook her head, still at a loss.

Truly mystified, she looked into his eyes for any hint that this was all a joke. "Seriously, Nathaniel, I didn't give you a beard trimmer."

Lifting the hand that currently rested on her hip, he reached into his pocket and produced a small strip of paper that read _'Hey Sexy, I thought you could use a new one.'_

"This was at my doorstep when I went home last night." Wash snatched the note from his hands.

"Nathaniel, this isn't from me. Who the hell else would be leaving gifts for you? Someone that calls you Sexy?" She was fuming now, he had made a fatal mistake showing her the note. Clearly he couldn't keep his dalliances straight. Taking a step back, she struck out slapping him hard. The newly bare skin of his cheek turned red almost instantly. "You bastard, you're cheating on me!"

Confusion marred the Commander's features as he raised a hand to his stinging face. Stammering he attempted to explain. "What? No… I'm not… I wouldn't." He grabbed her by the arm as she tried to sidestep him and exit the Command Center. Infuriated by the unwelcome contact she spun on him connecting a viscious elbow to his cheek bone. The skin split, and blood began to pour from the wound. Rather than releasing her, his arms wrapped around her like a vice. "Wash, calm down dammit!" She struggled for a moment, before sighing in resignation and stilling herself. "Is it safe to let you go, or are you going to hit me again?"

With clenched teeth she stated "probably." He made no attempt to release her, so she relented. "Fine, explain yourself. If I'm not satisfied with your explanation I'm going to kick your ass."

Tentatively he loosened his hold on her. She took three long strides to create distance between them, she did not trust herself to be within striking range.

"Wash." He reconsidered his words and started over. "Alicia, I arrived home last night, to find a package with that note on it. I assumed the only possible person it could be from was you, because there is no one else that would write a note like that. You are the only one, I have never stepped out on you and I never will."

She believed him. Wash's shoulders began to relax and she felt guilty when she saw the hurt in his eyes and the blood slowly trickling from his cheek, dangerously close to his eye. Slowly, she approached her lover and reached for the wound. "Nathaniel, this is going to need to be mended."

Realizing that he was no longer in physical danger he smirked slightly. "Good thing I know a medic that can patch me up."

Wash crossed the room to fetch her med kit. Behind her she heard the Commander sit heavily in his chair. "So who would have left me the beard trimmer? A defective beard trimmer I might add. The damn thing has a faulty length selector on it."

"Probably some secret admirer in the colony. And if I find out who it is, I'm going to throw her OTG." She sauntered back, with the kit in hand.

"I think that might be a little harsh." He closed his eyes as she began cleaning the wound.

Wash would disagree, it would be the perfect way to scare off all the women that ogle her man on a daily basis. "I forgot how much I like it when you're clean shaven. It's been a very long time. I guess I should thank this mystery woman… before I throw her OTG."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Honestly I have no excuse as to why it took me so long to update. I feel like I have lost my muse. Maybe a rewatch of the season on Netflix is required. I also know this chapter is kind of craptastic, but I felt like I needed to get something published just to get my ass in gear. Apologies to all. Read and review please, all feedback is welcome.**

Taylor:

Pulling out a mirror, he checked Wash's work before they exited the Command Center. Running a finger over the thin red line that remained after Wash bound the skin on his cheek, he admired her handy work. He frowned slightly when his gaze drifted to his now bare face. Reflexively, he reached to stroke his absent beard.

"Stop being so vain, you can put the mirror down." Wash smirked at him from across the desk.

"I'm not being vain, Wash, I'm just taking a look at my new face that I have to explain to colonists." He tossed the mirror unceremoniously next to a long forgotten plex full of housing requests.

He watched Wash's hips sway as she made her way over to him. "I like it, you know? This 'baby face' of yours. Just tell the colonists I wanted you this way." She gave him a cheeky smile as she straddled him in his chair. Typically she would pull him forward by his chest holster, but it was hanging with his weapon across the room.

Admiring her face and basking in their closeness he said "my dear, I think that may lead to more questions." Taylor's head snapped towards the direction of the door at the sound of footfall.

Wash scrambled to her feet and took two long strides to create some distance, and an air of propriety between them.

The door opened revealing Tom Boylan. Taylor glared at the man. _'I am not in the mood for his smartass comments.'_

"I had heard some chatter, but I had to see for myself. Oh, it was worth it." Boylan failed to hide the mirth in his voice. They death glare he received from Taylor did not serve its purpose, rather it set off bold laughter from the barkeep.

Taylor rose from his chair, rested both fists on his hips and regarded the man doubled over with laughter, clutching a small package. "What do you want, Boylan?" His voice boomed conveying the necessary underlying anger to stop Boylan's hysterics.

Slowly wiping a tear from his eye he held up the package with exaggerated reverence. "I present to you the finest coffee in all the colony."

Wash is slightly amused by the rotund man's antics, and worked (but failed) to smother the smile that threatened to grace her face. "It's the only coffee in the colony." She stated. "Why are you delivering it?"

Boylan simply shrugged, "I talked Sandy into letting me play delivery boy, like I said, I just had to see for myself."

Taylor was surprised, Sandy rarely missed her weekly opportunity to flirt with him. Secretly he enjoyed the attention from her, as well as some of the other ladies. Sandy was young and attractive, it stroked his ego. It created a fiery jealous streak in Wash that would often lead to rather raucous rounds of love making. He smiled at the thought, Wash staking her claim in the best way she knew how.

Taylor was also surprised by his relief at the sight of the coffee. _'Delivered by Boylan or not, I could really use a damned cup of coffee.'_ Taylor relaxed slightly. "Are you satisfied? Take a good look, put the coffee down and get the hell out." Then he reached into his pocket to count out the Terras needed to pay this Pain in the Ass.

"Commander, this batch is on me." Boylan made his way over to the brewer and set the package down, lingering too long for both Wash and Taylor's taste, attempting to make small talk. He busied himself preparing a fresh pot. "You seem to be having a rough day. Nothing perks a person up like a good cup of joe."

Taylor looked to Wash, who read that his patience was waning quickly. She stepped to the man busying himself with his beverage related task. "I can take it from here, Boylan. "

The bartender looked over his shoulder at to catch her gaze. "Coffee brewing part of your job description now, Wash?"

"OUT!" She set a hand on the weapon strapped to her thigh. Smartly, Boylan too quickly made his exit bumping slightly into the weapon rack on his way out. He scrambled to steady it, grinned back at the two soldiers, and rushed to the door.

"Boylan, hold up a second." Taylor shouted after the flustered bartender. He seemed torn, obey Wash's command to leave or stay back as the Commander beckoned.

Pausing, he slowly turned on his heel. "Yes, Taylor?" he asked more as a question than a response.

Taylor crossed his arms and leaned back against his desk. "Who's selling beard trimmers in the market these days?"

Seemingly deep in thought, Boylan held his forefinger to his lips. "I just bought mine from Kevin Brooks not too long ago. As far as I know he's the only one in the market."

Taylor dismissed the irritating man with a flick of his hand, then made his way quickly over to the fresh coffee. The smell was so alluring. Wash was in the process of pouring two large mugs. "I think I need to have a conversation with Kevin Brooks." He tried to sound conversational, but could hear the edge of irritation in his own voice.

"I..." she emphasized "will talk to him. The last thing we need is you interrogating people in the market because you are in a bad mood over losing your beloved beard."

Taylor frowned at her, "I wouldn't call it beloved. Preferred maybe, but not beloved. I feel like I lose some credibility without it." He couldn't help but smile at the grin that was now plastering his love's face. "It might make me too approachable. We can't have that." She smacked his arm prior to handing him a mug of coffee. He reveled in the first long sip, closing his eyes and enjoying the sensation. His enjoyment was cut short as the familiar beep of a communicator cut short his enjoyment.

"It's mine." Wash retrieved her device from her back pocket. "Wash here, go ahead."

"_Lieutenant, Wallace is demanding your presence in his lab, he is under the impression that his interns need a more severe punishment for their little prank."_ Shannon's voice clearly exhibited a hint of annoyance. _"He wants another opinion."_

She rolled her eyes at the inconvenience. "I'll be there shortly." She disconnected, set down her untouched coffee, and started out the door.

Taylor tapped her elbow. "I will talk to Malcolm, let him know that Shannon's decision is MY decision, you go have a talk with the man that is spreading broken trimmers through the colony." He kissed her swiftly before downing his coffee, and reaching for his chest holster. As he worked with the clasp, the metal promptly broke in his hands. Taylor, growled with frustration. "What else could go wrong today!?"

"Stop complaining, just use a thigh holster and get your cute ass over Malcolm's lab." She kissed him again and hurried herself to the market.


End file.
